You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
