The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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