just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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