Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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