i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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