but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
