So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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