at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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