I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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