After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I stole a fireplace last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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