and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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