You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
