I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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