Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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