He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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