she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
