hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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