your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
