Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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