Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
