Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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