Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
