hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize