his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
