Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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