Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
