She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
