marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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