I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
