no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am spending my child support on dildos
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
