So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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