You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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