...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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