the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize