i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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