either way he was missing a nipple.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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