3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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