butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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