I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
