You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
