So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
