i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
