if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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