My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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