You really coming over, don't trick.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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