if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
