operation harelip BJ is a go
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
