What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My ATM looks so different sober.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
