google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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