He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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