Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i came on her dog
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
