i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
