Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
