I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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