what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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