i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
