You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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