Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
