Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? Weโre gonna unpack that later
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