Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
